Profile: Tony Caminiti
ARRIVEDERCI, TONY
by Peter Barr
Lochcarron, August 9, 2018: As he sits on his balcony gazing out over the Mediterranean four weeks from now, Tony Caminiti will be raising a glass of prosecco to remember his wife, Carolyn, who died in Lochcarron in December last year. “Three years ago, on this same beach in Sicily, I watched her swimming out to sea until I thought she'd end up in North Africa,” Tony recalls, with a smile. “I knew that I wasn't a strong enough swimmer to reach her but I did wave a towel...”
Maybe after dinner in the local trattoria where they spent so many happy hours together “on vacation,” Tony will return to his apartment and his “children,” cats Doonie and Ellie. Then he will sit down and work until late on his novel – a story set in Heaven which revolves around a season of “fantasy baseball,” in 1941, with a cast of characters including sporting legend Lou Gehrig, who died that same year. “God doesn't have a speaking part,” says Tony, “but Saint Peter has plenty to say for himself!”
The plot may seem fantastic but when you piece together Tony's colourful life from his childhood in Brooklyn (New York) to north-west Scotland via Oregon and next month to his new home in the town of Porticello, near Palermo on the north-west coast of Sicily, it starts to make more and more sense. Like many novels, Tony's tale echoes his own life...
When Carolyn was dying, she talked about the afterlife and how she hoped to find out “all the answers.” And like Carolyn, Tony believes that there must be “something higher at work.”
“Carolyn was a spiritual seeker,” says Tony. “As a psychologist, she also saw what belief can do for a person,” he adds, revealing that Carolyn once spent six months in the Amazon forest, as part of a religious sect called Santo Diame, which involves lots of singing and dancing – as well as drinking psychoactive compounds which lead to “emotional and physical purging.”
Santo Diame may be hard to beat for spiritual drama, but in recent years, Tony and Carolyn also attended Sunday services at Courthill Chapel, the Episcopalian church in Kishorn. Religion has been a big influence in Tony's life from his earliest days – after leaving high school, he spent two years at a seminary run by the Salesians, training for the priesthood. So maybe all of this explains why Tony has an interest in spiritual matters – in real life as well as in fiction.
Tony met Carolyn in Oregon, a few years after selling his tax accountancy business and leaving his native New York. At first, he planned to start a new career as a farmer, but one of Tony's other dreams came true soon after settling down in Oregon when he became a sportswriter for the local paper – another “vocation” which must have inspired him when writing his novel.
At Carolyn's funeral, Tony recalled how they met, and in typical fashion he was totally frank about the personal details, as Carolyn would wish. “Carolyn had no secrets from anyone,” says Tony, as he describes how his second wife told him he needed to see a psychologist, presenting him with what seemed like a thousand names of therapists to choose from. And out of all those names, by accident, came Carolyn – a therapist who specialised in eating disorders, whose biggest attraction for Tony – at least to begin with – was simply that she was a woman who lived nearby. “At first, I was nervous,” says Tony. “When I went round to see her the first time, I hoped there wouldn't be a Mercedes outside, because that would mean I'd be paying big bucks for the sessions. But I soon heaved a sigh of relief when I noticed the Nissan.”
A few years later, happily married, Tony and Carolyn – a “beach girl” from Laguna Beach in southern California – fell out of love with their country. “It wasn't the world we grew up in,” says Tony. “In Oregon, I think we were the only unarmed house around – all our neighbours had guns.”
After looking at houses in England and Wales, Tony and Carolyn moved to Lochcarron in 2006. Tony had always been interested in all things British, devouring tales of Robin Hood and Sherlock Holmes since childhood. His father had served over here in the Second World War and one of his uncles had been killed in the Normandy landings on D-Day, so part of him had always been drawn across the Atlantic. For him and Carolyn, Scotland was also their first chance to set up a new home together.
“Carolyn fell in love with this place as soon as she saw it,” says Tony, admitting it took him a little while longer. “It was like America in the fifties – very quiet and peaceful. She loved the views, I loved the privacy, and soon we settled down – we only locked the door one night a year when we brought back the cash from the Games.”
The annual Highland Games were just one of the local activities Tony and Carolyn threw themselves into – Tony was treasurer up until recently. Both of them also joined the writing group and helped out – washing dishes – on Producers' Day, while Carolyn enrolled in several arts courses and also practised yoga.
“Carolyn was a great giver,” says Tony, and friends would often call round at their home in Kirkton Road for a chat, or she would visit their home. “She knew everyone,” adds Tony.
For Tony, Lochcarron has been home for more than a decade, but it's time to move on, leaving behind lots of memories – and their two custom-made pool cues. Sadly, Carolyn was diagnosed with cancer in 2010, and although she went into remission a couple of times, after chemotherapy, “she knew her days were numbered,” says Tony, “and I knew my days in the village were numbered.” Deciding not to try more chemotherapy and live her life as normally as possible, Carolyn also tried mistletoe therapy and was able to go on safari in South Africa last year “against doctor's orders.” Just a few months later, she was too weak to venture from home. In her final days, she also planned her funeral and “held court” in bed, looking over Loch Carron, surrounded by birdsong and trees – and her friends. “She also tried to teach me all the household stuff she usually managed herself,” Tony adds, “including how to brush the cats.”
Leaving will be difficult but Tony will remember Lochcarron with fondness because it is where Carolyn found happiness, and both of them discovered so many new friends. On Tony's table is a book which teaches how to “read and think Italian,” but until he reaches Sicily, only the cats hear him practise. As a boy, Tony was discouraged from speaking Italian, even though both his parents were fluent and all his grandparents were born in southern Italy. “You're an American,” his family told him. “Speak American!”
In recent years, Tony and Carolyn visited Sicily three times and took Italian lessons while they were there. Soon after she heard the sad news about Carolyn, their language teacher Maricetta got in touch with Tony and encouraged him to move there, so when he first arrives in Porticello he will have an instant family – in addition to Doonie and Ellie. He also hopes his daughter Corrie will come from Chicago to visit, bringing his grand-children with her.
Tony signed a six-month lease to rent an apartment during a visit to Sicily early this year. During this initial period, he plans to explore the whole island before he decides where to settle. He has no fixed plans yet, however. “I'll either enter a monastery or spend my time chasing women!” he jokes.
Unlike most other residents of Wester Ross, Tony says he'll miss the rain here, and has not ruled out the option of returning to Scotland. But if he does come back, he'll have lots of friends here already – and also no shortage of rain.
“Arrivederci, Tony. Till we see you again...”
Ask Tony:
Q: What one thing would you like to change in Lochcarron?
A: Taxi!